NorthGlasgowCollegeBlogs

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Cheese

There was a city inhabited by scrooges. They were very parsimonious, and of whom there was a very mean one. His family was living in a nightmare. Cheese with bread was the only food allowed to eat and only once a day and he was watching them to not go deep in the cheese.
They were wishing him the death to the skim they were living with. Eventually, God responded to their prayers and took him away. The family rejoiced at his death and they buried him in haste and added: "The days of hunger have gone for good" and jumped to the food.
'' what are you doing", shouted the big brother.
"we are dying of hunger, we want to eat ", they replied.
"do you expect me to let you waste our money at such silly things", he shouted hysterically.
They got shocked and shouted angrily:" do you want to treat us like your father?".
" like my father!!!! never....he was an extravagant man and I'll not be like him", he replied." my father allowed you to spread the cheese but that would not happen now. You will put the cheese on the table and point by the bread from afar".
Angrily, they jumped on him and beat him until he followed his father.

1 Comments:

Blogger becksdad said...

What a story! Is this your own story, or a common tale from your country? It's very well told by you.

I think you should maybe split your story into paragraphs to make it easier to follow.

other things:

there was one distinct very mean
the death of what skim them live with
re-write these phrases - the meaning is not clear
God responded their prayers prep
They shocked verb
pointing to bread wf

Also, when you use quotes (""), you don't need a capital after the quotes. But you do need a comma. Eg:
"Change your mistakes", he said.
not
"Change your mistakes" He said.

Good work as ever, and very entertaining!

12:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home